Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Training Days 5 & 6 of 71: Desiring a Gnome Hut

There was quite a stark contrast between today and yesterday's runs. Both were 3 miles, but the scenery of each created very different experiences. Yesterday I ran from home up Fairfax Blvd which was busy with morning commuters, across the Ross Dress For Less parking lot, along the tall ugly wall of The Grove shopping center, and through Pan Pacific Park to Beverly and Gardner which was my turnaround point. It was my first time in Pan Pacific Park and I was not impressed. There was a small pack of crows pecking fertilizer out of the grass. There were numerous people wandering along the swooping asphalt walkways. Some seemed to be homeless, others using leaf-blowers (the stupidest invention ever) to clear the path, others on their regular morning jogs. One man was jogging with bare feet. I tried to take his photo but he was running so fast I couldn't catch up. I ran home down the concrete ally way pictured above. Happy that the dreary task was over.

Then today was a hill day so I decided on Laurel Canyon for its narrow streets and overgrown bohemian feel. First I drove my chosen loop to verify the mileage and found out that despite the very steep winding route that took me way up high to a panoramic view over LA, it was only 1.5 miles. So I decided I'd run it twice, switching directions for the second round. I parked the car at the bottom and hid the key in a mossy stone wall, then took to the hill. The ascent was quite difficult and even unnatural feeling to jog up. At times I had to run on the balls of my toes because it was just too steep to bother trying to land on my heel. But much stronger than the strain of exertion was the pleasure of my surroundings. The houses were so f-ing cute I couldn't stand it. They were these exorbitant little hillside gnome huts tucked into lush vegetation. There were trickling waterfalls surrounded by ferns and Chinese lanterns swinging softly from trees. There was a cool breeze flickering the leaves and there was an overall quietude permeating the air that is so unusual - and special - in the middle of a city. I want one I want one I want one!!! I kept thinking, silently shopping for the best real estate as I trudged along.

And so this brings me to the topic of desire. Patanjali's Yoga Sutra 1.15 reads "The consciousness of self-mastery in one who is free from craving or objects seen or heard about is non-attachment." According to Swami Satchidananda's description of this sutra, "Every desire brings its own color to the mind. The moment you color the mind, a ripple is formed, just as when a stone is thrown into a calm lake it creates waves in the water. When the mind is tossed by these desires one after the other, there won't be peace or rest in the mind." And I must admit it's true. Whenever the I want one! feeling arises in me, peace is ruffled and suddenly all that I am and all that I have is no longer good enough. Suddenly my life means nothing without my own enchanted little gnome hut.

But then as I was jogged along, I wasn't quite believing that I didn't already have what I wanted. It was as if the desire wasn't for something outside myself, it was just that I felt so good to be moving along under the shade of the softly swaying trees, inhaling the smell of fresh moss and seeing these charming little homes. What I desired more than anything was a continuation of what I was already experiencing. And it did continue. Once I made it back to the car I had to turn around and do it again in order to make my 3 miles. And even though I ultimately had to drive back to my own non-gnome-hut home surrounded by beeping trucks and tall office buildings, it didn't matter. It was all in me, and still is.


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