Training Days 50 & 51 of 71: A Competitive Sport

I am four and a half weeks from the marathon and this is my second to last week of hard training before the mileage ebbs off leading up to the race. Tuesday I ran 5 miles down through Hancock Park and back, today I ran 10 miles on a big loop through Beverly Hills and back. Both runs were fine. Tuesday I found myself experimenting with increasing my speed. For about a mile I leaned forward a lot more and sped up significantly. Today since I had to get back to teach a yoga class I tried to keep my foot on the gas and maintain a strong pace as well. Now that I feel more capable as a runner I am noticing a growing desire to enhance my performance that I think is unique to running.

One of the immediate distinctions that was made at the Yoga For Runners training between yoga and running is that running is a competitive sport, while yoga is (supposedly) completely noncompetitive. I can definitely feel this difference now that I am doing both activities for several hours a week. In my yoga practice I am fundamentally interested in exploring what's happening in the mind and body as I move through different poses. It feels more like a daily exploration. Any "progress" in my practice (being able to do difficult poses) is a happy surprise that I don't really strive for, I just experiment with.

Meanwhile, since I ran the half marathon (and placed 3rd in my age group, apparently they are mailing me a medal), I have become increasingly interested in being able to run faster and longer. I have yet to run my first marathon and I'm already looking up the qualifying time for my age group for the Boston Marathon (3:40). I guess for the first time in my life I feel like I could possibly become good at a sport - become good at running. I attribute this mostly to my yoga practice. I feel like I have a secret weapon since I spend so much time stretching and strengthening already. I have such deep reserves of strength and balance right now. This paired with what yoga has taught me about overcoming mental blocks makes me feel like it is entirely possible for me to run significantly faster for longer distances. Might take a lot more training, but it's possible.

As odd as it may sound, I do think all of this boils down to that inner stillness. When I connect with the feeling that I'm fundamentally okay, that I'm content in the present moment, that there's nothing to be afraid of... anything feels possible. It's just about finding out, over and over. Finding out if I can or can't. More often than not, I find out that I can.

Training Days 47, 48 & 49 of 71: Twenty Miles & Toronto

My life has been a bit of a whirlwind over the past week. I crammed 5 and 9 mile runs in early last week. Then on Friday afternoon I was flying to Toronto for the Yoga For Runners Teacher Training so I had to squeeze in a 20 mile run that morning. Now that I'm back from Toronto and it's a sunny Monday morning in LA I can hardly believe it all worked out.

The 20 miles was good. I did a 10 mile loop twice that went from my apartment, through West Hollywood, up into Beverly Hills beyond the Beverly Hills Hotel, then down below Olympic to get back to my apartment. I ran in to use the bathroom, then went and did the loop in reverse. I would definitely say that the first round was more enjoyable, but the second was fine and I made it back with an hour and fifteen minutes to get ready for my flight.

The Teacher Training in Toronto was quite delightful. I had traveled the furthest to get there by far and I was met with a group of ten lovely Canadian yogi/runners on Saturday morning when I showed up at the funky Dovercourt House outside downtown Toronto (see photo of nearby mural above). Christine Feldstead, who created and taught the training, had a wealth of runner-specific yoga knowledge and set an atmosphere that was so welcoming I felt right at home. It was a real pleasure to be in a group that was so mixed (some were much more identified with running than yoga) and it was very illuminating to see the spectrum of perspectives. This Module focused mainly on the spine - how important it is to just MOVE THE SPINE in order to maintain bodily alignment and health. If you only sit at a desk/drive home/go running you are moving the spine very little, in fact you are mostly compressing it. The numerous twists, forward bends, and backbends in yoga keep the spine lubricated, long, and supple - counteracting those other activities that tend to degenerate spinal health. The more I learn about the spine the more I am in awe of it's extraordinarily intelligent design. How lucky we each are to have one!

Lindsay, a Toronto local from the teacher training was kind enough to zip me over to the airport last night with just enough time to catch my flight back to LA. Now comes the final push for my marathon training. This week 39 total miles (22 mile long run). Next week 44 total miles (24 mile long run). After that the mileage ebbs for three weeks until marathon time. Oh my goodness. So much laundry to do these days.

Training Day 46 of 71: Half Marathon Down

Yesterday I ran in my first official half marathon and it was so much fun! Dylan and I had to get up at 5AM so we could get to the Lake Casitas Recreation Area to sign in at 7AM (it's about one and a half hours outside of LA). It was so beautiful there. We parked in this dewy field that reminded me of Vermont. The misty lake was still and the surrounding hills were all shades of green. The fresh crisp air was such a welcome change from the city. I got my bib and we hung out until the race was to start at 8AM. I wasn't nervous. Mostly I was just looking forward to a new, more naturey route to run on.

There were a couple hundred people racing. The beginning of the race was pretty casual, off we all went in a great big herd. Gradually the herd thinned out. I started pretty slow but as we moved into a long steady decline I let gravity pull me a little faster. Around this time I really started to enjoy my breath. I like using ujjayi breath while running - breathing deeply and evening through the nose with a slight (very slight while running!) constriction at the base of the throat. The abundance of foliage made the breath even more pleasurable. There was a lot of downhill until about mile 6 when we had to start making up for it with a great big swooping uphill that was over a mile long. At the mile 6 water station I grabbed a cup and slugged it down with an orange flavored gu. After a moment of feeling vomit rise in my throat, I breathed a little deeper and dug in. I really do love hills and as I saw numerous people had resorted to walking up the hill ahead of me, I was even more resolved to keep up a strong pace. I passed about ten people on that hill (thank you Utkatasana and Virabhadrasana 2 for the reserves of leg strength!), then we looped back through the starting area where Dylan gave me a high-five and I took off for the last four miles along a hilly dirt road beside the lake.

People were really breaking down along this last stretch. Most were walking up the numerous sharp inclines. Again, I checked in with myself and realized that I felt very strong and capable. I had assumed if others were walking, I would need to also. I assumed they were better trained and more fit. But it turned out that for those last four miles I only gathered more steam. I probably passed about 15 more people. I just kept setting my sights on the next person ahead of me and before I knew it, I'd be cruising by them. I really didn't want to pass someone right at the finish line because I think that's rude, so I made a point to get by as many people as I could before we came back into view of the finish. Then for the last mile I just totally hauled ass. It felt amazing. I leaned forward and stretched out my legs and flew in across the finish with a time of 2:15. This is an average of 10:38/mile. Perhaps not very fast for some, but I thought I'd probably be running 12 minute miles. So I was very, very pleased. I was also pleased that I didn't walk or stop once. It just didn't feel necessary.

After I was finished I got a lot of water and some orange slices and Dylan and I lounged in the sun waiting for his mom and aunt to come (I had told them it would take me a lot longer so unfortunately they missed the whole thing). Everyone there seemed to be in such good spirits. It had warmed up a lot and I couldn't think of anything wrong with anything about it. Just a bunch of people on a beautiful morning taking a long jog through lush trees and along a gorgeous lake. Then the ladies joined us, we lounged around a bit more (see photo at picnic table), and had a nice long lunch, then homemade ice cream in downtown Ojai.

So... aside from some stiffness today (which I'm sure a yoga class tonight will take care of), I'm feeling very happy for my first half-marathon experience and encouraged that the full marathon that's only 6 weeks away might actually be possible. It's nice to be alive.

Training Days 42, 43, 44 & 45 of 71: Half Marathon Here I Come!

Tomorrow I am set to run in the Ojai Half Marathon around Lake Casitas (see photo). It is about an hour and a half drive from my apartment. I am very excited for the opportunity to run in a race with OTHER PEOPLE nearby. My runs up until now have been completely solitary and I think it will be nice to all be doing it together - just like practicing yoga in a class full of people provides a whole different experience than practicing alone. I wonder if I will be able to 'ride' the energy of those around me? If I will try to run faster than usual so I don't feel like a wuss? If 13 miles will feel easy after the 18 miles last week?

One other reason I'm looking forward to the half marathon is that it is in Ojai, which is where Indian sage/philosopher Krishnamurti lived for much of his life. I'll put a quote of his here, so you can get an idea of him (although I believe he's appeared in my blog already):

"Fear exists so long as there is accumulation of the known, which creates the fear of losing. Therefore fear of the unknown is really fear of losing the accumulated known. Accumulation invariably means fear, which in turn means pain; and the moment I say 'I must not lose' there is fear. Though my intention in accumulating is to ward off pain, pain is inherent in the process of accumulation. The very things which I have create fear, which is pain." (The First and Last Freedom)

Krishnamurti's message revolved around dissolution of the separate sense of self that we are constantly trying to guard, protect, and enhance. He said that the main source of our suffering is identification with anything - country, race, gender, etc. He even went so far as to disband the religion that was forming after him because he said that identifying with him would also create further suffering for the followers. It represented the same human urge to separate into distinct identity groups - which is ultimately what perpetuates suffering.

Not sure how all this will effect the half marathon. Guess we'll see tomorrow.

Training Days 39, 40 & 41 of 71: Inner Stillness

This past week of running has been pretty good. I ran 8 miles on Tuesday - a swift jog to Koreatown and back. 4 miles on the treadmill at Swerve on Wednesday. I'm really not a big fan of the treadmill. It's so tempting to just step off. For me it's better to actually run a certain distance and have to run back home. Then I ran the big 18 on Friday - from Miracle Mile, through Hollywood (including the Hollywood Forever cemetery where I encountered numerous peacocks on their morning strolls - see photo), up into Los Feliz and Silver Lake, then back through Hollywood to home. The night before the 18 my achilles tendons were feeling mushy and my bum was quite sore from the two yoga classes I'd taken the day before so I was a bit concerned, but it turned out just fine. My body seemed to have gotten itself together by morning and I had no problems during the run. The one main thing I was thinking about during the run was how maybe long distance running is so off-putting to people because of the sustained inner stillness it demands, much like yoga.

This past week I have been doing some grassroots marketing for the new yoga studio I'm teaching at called In Yoga Center. This basically means that I stand in front of Trader Joe's and say "can I interest you in a free class at a new yoga studio?" and then the person generally lets me know their feelings about yoga as they tell me whether they are interested or not. A LOT of people apparently don't like yoga because they say they don't have the patience for it. They get anxious during the long holds of certain poses. They'd rather do something that keeps their mind more occupied instead of having to deal with stilling the mind. Of course I understand their frustration. I too have experienced the impatience and agitation they refer to. I suppose the difference is that I've come to know how the practice of staying with the agitated mind during yoga asana actually deepens and expands one's capacity for inner peace and harmony in all kinds of situations. I no longer resent the long holds, instead I crave them.

In Chip Hartranft's translation of the Yoga Sutras, sutra 1.2 is "Yoga is to still the patterning of consciousness" and sutra 1.13 is "Practice is the sustained effort to rest in that stillness". According to the Sutras, through the regular practice of 'resting in stillness' we can burn through the 'chitta vrittis', which is the mind-stuff that we are constantly at the mercy of. By being with the agitated mind, by bearing witness to it instead of simply indulging in its impulse to zig-zag all over the place, we can begin to shift our state of being from identification with the mental noise to identifying with the presence beneath. Why do this at all? In my experience, because it allows you to be at peace with yourself. It calms the nervous system. It let's you enjoy (or at least accept) many situations that you might previously have railed against. It de-victimizes you.

The experience of being in hour three of a seemingly endless run is quite similar. Even though the scenery is gradually shifting as you move from one neighborhood to the next, there is little for the mind to "do", so not only is it a test of physical endurance and strength, it is also a challenge for the mind just learn how be there, along for the ride. And I do think it is cultivating another level of inner peace for me. Long distance running as a practice surely feels like a 'sustained effort to rest in that stillness'.

Training Day 38 of 71: 16 Miles and some Logistics

This morning I ran 16 miles from Miracle Mile where I live to Silver Lake, around the Silver Lake Reservoir, and back home. I woke up to an alarm at 6:30AM, had a cup of coffee and hit the road by 7:30AM. As you will see in the photo I have acquired some awesome new runner gear this week. Usually I run in old yoga clothes but now have an official pair of Adidas runners shorts and this Nike long sleeve top with reflectors on it. If you look closely you'll see that my nail polish also goes well with this outfit. Although my feet feel very tired and do not want to be stood on at the moment, the run was quite wonderful. Getting the early start made a huge difference and it was such a pleasure to jog through the cool, quiet neighborhoods this Saturday morning. I've finally gotten into the "goo" and took a pit stop at a Korean recreation center to use the restroom, swallow a packet of goo, and drink a lot of water. Then as I rounded the reservoir I had some Luna gummy moons. Both the goo and gummy worms gave me a real boost. By about mile 14 my toes felt like water balloons that were about to pop, but overall my body felt good and capable and I couldn't stop thinking about how awesome it was to be running 16 miles. It felt like a big deal.

I want to check in with some logistics of the marathon training today, just based on questions that don't really get addressed in my other posts.

Progress: I moving into week 10 out of 18 of my training. So I'm over halfway there. I am up to running 30 miles over 4 training days per week (the distance will keep increasing).

Yoga: I am taking numerous yoga classes each week. Sometimes against my better judgment I take a hard yoga class after training because it's so fun and I can't resist. But it has been wonderful to not feel like I need yoga for exercise so I can experiment with all sorts of classes instead of gravitating to just vinyasa flow classes. My obsession with yoga has only grown and I often find myself daydreaming about yoga while running, which helps occupy my mind.

Body: I seem to have gotten thinner because my fuel belt is almost too big for me now, but I have not weighed myself since beginning training so I don't know if my weight has changed. I do seem to have slightly more muscle definition.

Appetite: I am very hungry often and enjoy eating immensely. I eat like a teenage boy - barely looking up from my plate during the whole meal. I'm loving a bit of red wine in the evening.

Career movement: As of this week, I am teaching six new yoga classes at two studios. Four classes at In Yoga Center (www.inyogacenter.com) and two classes at Swerve Studio (www.swervestudio.com). So happy about this. Also I'm going to Toronto in three weeks to do a Yoga For Runners teacher training and I'm very enthused about developing yoga programs for runners in the LA area.

Half marathon: I am planning on running in the Lake Casitas Half Marathon in Ojai on April 18th to help prep for the May 30th marathon in Vermont.

Mood: These have been some of the happiest weeks of my life. Running is changing my perspective on everything, especially taking me more deeply into my body and the environments I'm in. I've been much more appreciative of my physical form and much less critical of it on a superficial level. I feel like it really is a gift to get to live in this body and I have no inclination to criticize it.

That's all for today.

Training Days 35, 36 and 37 of 71: The Unexamined Life

This week I ran 3 miles Tuesday, 7 miles yesterday and 4 miles today. The 7 mile run was most enjoyable. It was overcast and chilly and I had a lot of stuff to do so I ran much faster than usual, down Crescent Heights, West on Whitworth, over on Pico to the park below the Fox lot and down the road that leads into the recreation center, then back home. I was in awe that this body/mind that thought running 7 miles was such a huge feat just a few weeks ago could find it to be so easy now. It is quite amazing what the body can do! However, this week I have also been bothered by the awareness of how much we all take for granted what we can do and/or handle, without first exploring if it is actually good idea. Hence Socrates in the picture above.

"The unexamined life is not worth living" stated Socrates a long, long time ago. And although this is thought of mainly regarding inquiry into our human experience on a more philosophical level, I think it very directly applies to the physical realm. As my training has progressed, I have naturally found myself in conversations with numerous runners of both long and short distance. We talk about mileage, spandex rashes, stress fractures, shin splints, electrolyte replacing "goo"... all sorts of things. But I am often quite surprised to hear that very few people think about their running form at all. Neither do they necessarily acknowledge aches and pains that are developing and instead opt to push through them (often resulting in injury). I am kind of taken aback at how callously people treat their bodies, and then become angry or frustrated when the body doesn't perform the way the mind wants it to. We do this in so many areas of life. We are constantly coming up with ideas of how things should be without ever examining whether it's right or even possible - and without acknowledging the information that is right there in front of us.

I guess I have come to think of this body that I inhabit as a sort of information console that is constantly giving me feedback. Good feelings, strength, calm, comfort, ease, joy are all bits of information that this mechanism is on track, things are working. Meanwhile pain, anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety, desperation, exhaustion are all indicators that the choices I'm making are really not working for my mechanism. I think the freaky thing about us humans is that we think we should be able to convince ourselves not to have the reaction that we are naturally having. We run through the pain because we don't want it to exist. We caffeinate our exhaustion because we don't want to be tired. We ignore our sadness because we can't stand how it feels. Instead of examining these elements of our life as Socrates teaches, we find ways to medicate/ignore/avoid the feedback we are constantly receiving from our emotions and body. And it doesn't really work. There is always a breakdown that accompanies the choice to ignore what your body is trying to tell you. The mind never wins.

This society might not be structured in a way that makes it easy for us to honor all the feedback we get from our body and emotions. Often survival seems to depend on us pushing through very unnatural feeling circumstances. But I think this is all the more reason to examine that which we can examine. Explore the icky and uncomfortable things we want to numb out. Take them on and find out if there is another way that will take care of the mind and body, instead of just trying to force the body to adhere to the mind's idea of the best way to do it. I guess I just think we should really consciously take care of ourselves, no matter how inconvenient. Then, if Socrates is right, our life will be way more worth living.

ps. Yoga is really good if you want to practice "examining".